With all the fear-mongers slinging prevarications about the credit crisis and general economic ruin throughout the entire nation, it’s easy for the bureaucrats to forget about the little man. The financial industry…the auto industry…the mortgage industry…we’re told that these are all “too big to fail”, that surely depression would follow their collapse. While not downplaying the importance of these financial giants, it’s clear that we’re missing one industry that has a greater influence on a man’s life than any other…I speak of course, of the porn industry. After all, since the government is now in the business of handing out taxpayer money to whomever it deems worthy, it only seems natural that the adult entertainment industry is deserved a slice of the pie. Its a well known fact that politicians occasionally enjoy to delve into the realm of erotica (warning: this link will NOT take you to nude pictures of Lindsay Lohan). It makes perfect sense that these all knowing leaders would choose to spend our money on one of their favorite enterprises. Why bring this up now you ask? Simple. Because just recently two noble patriots have taken this battle straight to capitol hill. Hustler’s Larry Flynt and “Girls Gone Wild’s” Joe Francis are petitioning the government for a $5 billion bailout. It’s true, see for yourselves. Could you imagine a world without those eloquent spam emails promising the best adult entertainment has to offer? I sure can’t.
If this teaches us anything, it should be that government has no business allocating capital. They are incapable of making the right decisions. The porn industry has a right to petition them for money, because they have set the standard. They opened the vault. The financial, mortgage, and auto industries may have been the first in line…but you can be sure they won’t be the last. Now Obama and his team of liberal economists are telling us that we can spend our way out of this deficit. I’m no Harvard graduate, but I know you can’t spend your way out of debt. I hope they give Larry and Joe their $5 billion. We forced this upon ourselves with our laziness and greed. The next few months and years are going to be a challenge for everyone, I only hope we can learn from our mistakes.
I also predict that I will get 5 million hits on this post.
It’s no real surprise that bailout is Merriam-Webster’s Word Of The Year in 2008. With the current state of our economy and the ambitions of the incoming administration, we can expect it to top the list in 2009 as well. Unfortunately, all government bailouts are destined for failure. Albert Einstein defined insanity as doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. You would think that after $168bil in stimulus checks, hundreds of billions to Fannie and Freddie, AIG, Bear Sterns, Goldman Sachs, over $700bil to unknown amounts of troubled financial institutions and an insane flood of liquidity totaling in the trillions pumped in by the Fed without any sort of accountability, the people of this country would realize the simple truth: the government is helpless to fix our economy. In fact, the government is helpless to fix ANY economy. We’re quickly headed in the direction of government controlled economies the likes of the Soviet Union and Cuba. The intensely debated auto bailout is simply another case of the government subsidizing failure. It is imperative to allow the free market to weed out poorly run companies and allow viable new businesses to buy up those assets which are not wrought with bad debt. As is usually the case, nothing from any of our political leaders is pointing towards the free market as a solution. Instead, it is constantly blamed as the cause and instigator of the entire crisis. Merry Christmas.
Especially in these tough financial times the temptation to keep God’s money to ourselves is hard to overcome. Here’s an easy way to make a difference in a kid’s life and give a gift of eternal significance. Go here and make a gift of $50 or more choosing the “campership” option. Then, send me an email and I will mail to you or your loved one receiving the gift a beautiful card with pictures of students with disabilities at camp in Latin America, explaining that you have sent a student to camp in their honor. The gospel message is presented to these kids at a camp where they also get to experience life outside of anything they’d ever dreamed possible. Merry Christmas.
Well, people…it’s official. America’s economy has been in a recession since December 2007. Can’t say I’m not surprised…we’ve become a bunch of greedy whiners. But, who cares? The rich will stay rich, the poor will get poorer, and the income gap will get a little wider. No big deal, right? WRONG!! In an attempt to raise revenue and respond to the increase in demand for its Double Cheeseburger, McDonalds has decided to change its price from one dollar to…one dollar and 19 cents. That’s accounting for almost 20% inflation! I am not loving it. This affects me in a big way. You aren’t an American if you don’t love McDonalds. Some of my favorite memories have been made while enjoying a 29 cent hamburger, a 2 for 1 soft serve cone, or, yes…a Double Cheeseburger. Forget the auto industry, forget the out of control printing press of the federal reserve, and forget Iran and North Korea! This is a big deal people! If anyone has any suggestions on how I should cope with this, please let me know. Right now i’ve decided to run out into the middle of the street and start lighting things on fire. Ba da ba ba ba…
…or foo foo Christianity as I like to call it. I had a long discussion tonight with a well seasoned middle-aged christian man and his wife. He’s educated, a graduate of seminary, and currently employed as an architect. We started on politics. When I talk about politics I tend to be extremely far right…basically libertarian. Of course, this couple was very liberal. It was interesting however how many things we were able to agree on and frankly left me wondering why these two voted for a communist to be our next president. I made my points, as it usually goes when I debate with liberals, received no counter points, and we proceeded to move on to the church. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m not afraid to share my opinion and am often critical of the modern church. In many cases the church has become a business and assimilated itself into the culture of America. That wasn’t our discussion. Instead, they began to question the virgin birth, the infallibility of scripture, the fall of man, and the need for salvation through the sacrifice of Christ. It hurts my soul to even talk about these things, but the reality that this is a movement within the church that is gaining momentum scares the hell (if there is a hell) outta me. Here’s the deal emergent church. If that’s your real name. The audacity that you display by thinking you can pick and choose which sections of scripture are God-breathed is inexcusable. The line of thought that belief and profession in Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior is secondary to social justice is detrimental to, and has the potential to ultimately destroy our faith. All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for training in righteousness. Without that, what are we left with besides the will and determinations of man? When Jesus says, “Most assuredly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life in you,” what else are we to take that to mean? Not that anyone reads this blog…but figuratively, to the people I’m addressing, I urge you to not read the words of man, for whom the ways of God will always be somewhat of a mystery. Instead, read the scriptures. Discover through the beautiful simplicity of His word the relationship that He longs to have with us and the life of purpose that is available to us ONLY through and because of Christ’s sacrifice.
As many of you know, I’ve been in a band for most of my life. I was practically reading music right out of the womb and have always had a ravenous passion for a well-written song. My style can best be described as eclectic. Or magical. Or just plain bad-ass. To give you an idea of the type of songs I write, the bands on my 120 terabyte ipod right now are Secondhand Serenade, Chiodos, and Panic at the Disco to name a few. But of course the Beatles are my all time favorite band. I feel like my band’s been holding me back. I mean, not to downplay our success. We’re practically the house band at the Exit. Lately though, I’ve been wanting to go a different direction with my music. I’ve been in talks with several different labels and have a few deals lined up. I’m also going on tour this winter. You can find all that information at myspace.com/xxxieatchildrenxxx. Also feel free to give me a call anytime at 255-5032. If a middle-aged woman answers the phone, just ask for Randy and I’ll come up from the basement. I’ll be sure to post some videos soon of my new songs that I know you guys are all just dying to hear.
Hey everyone! I’d like to use this blog to officially invite all my friends to a housewarming party! Me and my wife just bought a brand new home out in northwest Fresno. We got a great deal, only 750k dollars! Can you believe that? Plus…for the first 3 years our monthly payment is only 800 dollars! I know. We should totally be able to afford that on my 8,000/year salary. That’s right, I don’t even pay any taxes! And ya know what’s awesome? Next year after Barack wins I’m gunna get a tax rebate every month from the government. It’s about time they started spreading the wealth around. I know things might be tight for a little while, but I’ll just have to set aside a little bit of my disability check every month and maybe only take the family to Disneyland twice this year. I know what you’re thinking, “only go to Disneyland twice? that’s crazy!” But i already spoke to my 12 children, and they totally understand the situation. Well, I have a Dr’s appointment today to see if I’m a good candidate for gastric bypass surgery…you’d be amazed at how many fried mayonnaise balls you can get with food stamps! I have to give my social worker a call and make sure medi-cal will cover it. It is a life or death situation after all…RSVP in the comments section so I can know how much alcohol to buy…I just got a new a credit card with a limit of 250,000, that should cover it.
Well, we’re screwed. That’s right…the Amero is coming. They tried it in the 60s, but luckily there were still some intelligent people left in Europe who wouldn’t let it happen. Now, there’s nothing to stop them. First they’ll come for your gold. Crazy? To imagine that scenario we’d have to go back to…1930. Wow. The most foolish president in recent history decided that American citizens no longer had the right to own gold, or redeem their dollars in gold. That right was reserved for foreign governments. That system was discarded after the depression because, well, it was wrong. Now, we’re facing an even bigger threat. In the next few months our newly elected Marxist president will decide that you don’t have the right to spend your own money. Our economy will become more and more centrally planned, till all remnants of Capitalism are lost. Then, the universal currency will be introduced. It will be forced upon us as the only way to resist the inevitable depression. Reality: it will give control of the world’s economy to an international central bank. I suggest reading Hayek’s “Road to Serfdom” to understand where a government controlled economy leads. Think one facist country is bad? Imagine a facist world. Luckily for us, our legislators in CA are busy banning people from text messaging while driving…wake up America. Our freedom is at stake.